Yesterday I gave the Chief of the department my letter advising him that I would be retiring effective October28th. That’s only 55 days. YIKES! I have been procrastinating for the past several weeks, knowing that once I gave them a date, it would be official. It took me quite a while to complete the letter because of the tears clouding my vision. What a dork. It’s scary and exciting at the same time. I’m sure I have said that more than once in previous posts.
The Chief and I had a nice conversation over the next hour about my time there, about what I want to do when I leave, about how the job has changed over the past 20+ years. The actual job of putting water on the fire never changes, except that there are new nozzles and ligher hose and foam that can be added to the water to make it “work” more efficiently.
What has changed is the amount of education that is available and even required to do the job. I was hired as a career firefighter in 1984 with absolutely NO experience in the fire service. That wasn’t totally unusual then but it would be unheard of now, at least in this area. Someone could join a department as a volunteer without any experience and they could get the education and practice they need “on the job” but that would no longer be acceptable for a career position.
We also talked about how the “family” feeling of the firehouse has changed. Even though we eat and sleep together, the bond is different, not as strong. I don’t have any explanation for that.
I do know that once I leave, I will no longer be a part of the family. We agreed that there is a glass door that slams shut when one of us retires or resigns and we just don’t fit any more. They will still working the job but I will be a visitor. That makes me sad because I know it will happen and it doesn’t take very long. It will only be a few years and many of the people that are hired won’t have a clue who I am.
There are a few things that I feel sad about or will miss…
First of all, my granddaughter will never know me as a firefighter. She will hear stories about it or see pictures and will know that’s what I USED to do but she won’t really know me as a firefighter.
As I drive along, no one will wave and expect me to wave back.
No one will pull over as I drive down the street.
I will get a ticket if I run through a red light or stop sign. (I do come to a crawl when I approach a red light or stop sign because you would be surprised how many cars Do Not Stop just because I’m entering the intersection with a big red truck, lights flashing and sirens blaring.)
I will miss the bond that is so strong with my coworkers as we depend on one other in life threatening situations.
I will miss the fact that some days I really do make a difference.
However, I won’t miss sleeping away from home two nights a week.
I won’t miss getting up several times during the night to deal with someone’s emergency.
I won’t miss going to work in bad weather, no matter how dangerous it is outside.
There are more I’m sure and they will come to me as I count down the next 55 days. Maybe I’ll just call out sick on my last day, rather than spend the day as a blubbering idiot with tears streaming down my face the entire day. This is gonna be a rough ride.
Thanks for stopping by…
;o)
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