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Greg called to tell me that Vanessa has asked for a DIVORCE.  Yes, the dreaded “d” word.  Greg celebrated his 38th birthday in March, his daughter’s 6th birthday in May and his 8th wedding anniversary in July.  My heart breaks for him and for Ella.

I, too, asked my husband for a divorce after 30 years of marriage and many of them, unhappy ones.  However, I NEVER wanted my children to be torn between their mother and father, spending every other weekend at one place or the other, alternating holidays and so on.  I purposely waited until both kids had graduated from high school, Greg was out of college and living near Boston, Wendy was a sophomore in college.  There was never any physical abuse in our family, but we suffered plenty of verbal abuse…more so Wendy and me, not so much Greg.  Early in our relationship, I went to counseling in an attempt to “make things work”; I asked my husband to accompany me, which he did once or twice then refused to go, telling me “he had nothing to talk about”.  That lead me to believe that it was my problem and he had no interest in “making things work”.  I attended counseling many times over the course of the next 30 years.  No, I wasn’t happy but neither was I so miserable that I couldn’t wait until my children were more or less adults before breaking up our family.  And I did it with a heavy heart!

Apparently, Vanessa was going to counseling but Greg didn’t say that she had asked him to go or that she wanted to make it work.  She doesn’t love him, their relationship isn’t exciting…blah, blah, blah.   You would think I could understand where she is coming from, considering I kind of did the same thing several years ago.  However, I tried for a very.long.time.  There was no social media when I got married and it wasn’t nearly as prominent 14 years ago when I called it quits.  She has posted a lot of pictures of herself and her girlfriends out at the bar, having drinks, while her husband is home parenting.  I’m sorry but spending time in the bar, with your divorced girlfriends, is not conducive to a healthy, marital relationship.  I mentioned that very thing to my partner, Bill, several times, along with the fact that she never mentioned being anywhere with Greg, even when they were together.  I also said it was like she wasn’t even married.  Unfortunately, I don’t believe that most people in long term relationships wake up every morning with that “pie in the sky”, “butterflies in my stomach” feeling. It’s great for books and movies, which is what makes them so popular, but I don’t think it’s realistic. I suspect Vanessa will figure that out but, then again, maybe not.

At a time like this, I wish I had a bevy of writers giving me the right words because truthfully, I don’t know the right words.
I’m sad; sad for the loss of a family unit at a time when families are so important.
I’m sad; sad for Greg because I know this is not how he pictured his life unfolding.
I’m sad; sad for Ella because divorce sucks, and it sucks for everyone involved, whether 6 or going on 26 and I HATE that her whole world will be turned upside down.

I’m concerned about Greg’s emotional and financial well-being, as well as Ella’s adjustment and emotional well-being.

I am praying that Vanessa will be fair, especially financially and that they will be able to agree on terms that are equitable to both parties.

Admittedly, I’m not completely surprised. I guess I’ve felt an uncomfortable “vibe” in the past few months.  Truthfully, I’ve never been very fond of Vanessa.  I’ve always found her to be somewhat cold and stand-offish.  I never felt she treated Greg respectfully…more like her man-servant, always yelling his name “Greeeeeeeg”.   I felt I didn’t have to be in love with her as long as Greg loved her and she made him happy, that was what was important.  I never really got the feeling that was the case; there was never much warmth or “passion” between them.

Greg is quiet, a man of few words with a twinkle in his eyes and a dry sense of humor.  I believe Greg is a wonderful, caring, honest and hard-working man; a loving father and I believe, a loving husband. When and if the time comes, he deserves to be with a woman who treats him with love and respect. I have not seen that from Vanessa for quite some time.  I’m not familiar with his social group or church family but I hope he has a solid support system and he will call upon friends and family when he needs them. There will be lonely, difficult times during the coming weeks/months but he doesn’t have to face them alone.

I will ALWAYS be here for Greg and Ella, anytime of the day or night!  I know this is not what he wanted, maybe didn’t expect, but I believe he and Ella will settle into the “new normal” and come out on the other side, better than ever, hopefully closer than ever, although it might not seem like that right now.

I love them unconditionally, I support them unconditionally.

IMG_2693Thanks for stopping by…

;o)

Now that I’m not actually employed, I have more time to sew.  No job is good…more time…and bad…less money.  I picked this pattern up a few years ago and since I wasn’t in the mood to spend any money, I made the decision to Git Er Done.  Granted, I finished it AFTER Halloween this year but it will be brand spankin’ new for next year.

I’m such a dork, I started taking photos of the pieces as I finished them

Piece No. 1

Piece No. 1

Piece No. 2

Piece No. 2

and then I totally forgot to take more.

It will be hiding in the closet until the bewitching begins again in 2014.

Check out the spider in the doorway

Check out the spider in the doorway

Jack-o-lantern and flying geese

Jack-o-lantern and flying geese

Star and flying geese

Star and flying geese

IMG_2933

The pattern is by “Little Bits” and the finished piece measures 15 1/2 x 18 1/2 inches.

Getting back to sewing reminded me how much I enjoy it; hopefully I will have more completed projects in the near future.

Thanks for stopping by…

;o)

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If you follow me on Google Reader, did you know it will no longer be available after July 1st, 2013.

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Thanks for stopping by…

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Since I had some leftover black and white fabrics from my New York Beauty

and I saw a sample lap quilt at the Maine Quilt Show that used black and white fabrics, I decided to make one for myself.

Lap quilt "coin" stripsThe gold strips are not part of the new quilt, that’s just the bedspread underneath.

Unfortunately, the bright lime green/yellow batik I bought for the connecting strips is not long enough, even though I bought the amount indicated on the pattern.  The “coin” strips are 56″ long and my fabric is only 42″.  UGH!  So now I’m looking for another fabric I like that doesn’t cost me an arm and a leg.

What the heck happened to the price of fabric, anyway?

Thanks for stopping by…

;o)

Although the wedding was September 23rd, Wendy and Dan received their quilt for Christmas.  Three months late but finished. Yay!

Squaring the quilt after it was machine quilted

Adding the binding

My high tech binding winder

I used a toilet paper roll with a ribbon running through it, which I put around my neck.  This allowed me to feed the binding in a hands free mode.  Genius!

Securing the binding to the back using hair clips.

Hand stitching the binding to the back

A close-up of the machine quilting

The label

The words on the label are the words to their wedding song.

The body of the quilt on the bed

Unfortunately, I couldn’t get a photo that included the borders.  Maybe next summer they can hang it from their deck and I can get a good photo.

Here's the original pattern

It sort of looks like the original.  I’m glad it’s all done, I hate having a project hanging over my head; especially one with such an important “due date”.  Now, on to the next project, a nice, small lap quilt for myself.

Thanks for stopping by…

;o)

I have not done a very good job of blogging lately.  My beautiful daughter got married the end of September and I didn’t blog one.single.word about it although there were plenty of words in my head that day.

I have been working on their wedding quilt for the past several months although I didn’t get it finished in time to present it as a wedding gift ;o(  That makes me sad.  I DID get the last border on it today.

I’ve cleaned up all the loose threads, the backing is purchased, washed/dried/ironed and I’m taking it to the longarm quilter on Thursday.  I’ll be getting the binding ready while it’s away.

Thanks for stopping by…

;o)

It’s all about “the quilt” right now, in my spare time, at least.  On my days off last weekend…it rained!  Big surprise for those that know me.  I have rotten luck when it comes to good weather on my days off.  That’s another story for another day.  Today’s story is about quilting.  Well, to be more precise, it’s about cutting big pieces of fabric into small pieces of fabric so that it can be sewed into big pieces again.  That’s what quilters know.  Here are some photos to give you an idea what I’m talkin’ about.

First I start with six rectangles .  These colors are not true but you will notice the fabric alternates light and dark.

Next, I stack them one on top of the other and draw the pattern that I will be cutting.  You have to look closely to see where I have drawn chalk lines.

Once I have drawn the lines, I pin a number to each piece.  This allows me to sew them back together in the right order.  I didn’t number the two pieces in the middle because they will be shuffled once the fabrics are cut.

Next, I cut along the lines.  Remember, there are six pieces of fabric stacked together.

Now that the pieces are cut, I shuffle the top fabric of the two middle pieces to the bottom of the stack.  Can you see what has appeared?


Ta Da!  A heart magically appears.  Then I sew each rectangle back together and every seam is a C.U.R.V.E!  I use lots of pins and I don’t sew quickly soooooo, it takes me about 45 minutes for each one and there are 36 of them.  Each set of six produces a different heart because I drew the template differently each time.

Good thing etiquette allows a year after the wedding to present a gift.

The photos are a little blurry because I cropped them to bring them closer.  I’m a quilter, not a photographer.

Thanks for stopping by…
;o)

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