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Posts Tagged ‘garden’

Most of the people that know me would tell you I am a pessimist and have a negative attitude. I can’t argue with that. I’m not sure when or how it started but the last several years have been very negative ones. I’m not unhappy. I have been divorced since 2000 and have been quite content. I’m healthy, have a job that pays the bills, enjoy two grown children and a new granddaughter. I have a partner that is more than generous and loves me way more than I deserve. Yet I fight with a negative attitude more often than I would like.

However, I am aware of this fault and have been making a serious effort to turn myself into a positive person and one that others want to spend time with. I meditate and do Reiki in an attempt to attract and accept positive energy and attitudes and release and let go of the negative energy that seems to exist within me. Unfortunately, today is a very negative day.

I think it started with the fact that I will spend a significant portion of my savings to put K-1 fuel into my tank for the winter heating season at a cost of $4.48 a gallon. In April I bought 100 gallons at $3.99 which used up all of the money that I had set aside for that purpose. I didn’t fill up then because I thought the price would drop once the heating season was over and summer arrived. I was wrong. My tank is 275 gallons and although I’m not sure just how much I will need to fill the tank, it will be near 200 gallons.

I’m discouraged, angry and quite frankly, scared. While I set aside $20 every week for gasoline, I’m using that and more every week. What happens next year when I actually don’t have the money in my account to buy winter fuel?

On top of that, the weather report for this week suggests that it will be near 60* on Wednesday with rain. However, over the weekend when I’m scheduled to work, it is predicted to be sunny and in the 80’s. It never fails (that would be the negative attitude rearing its ugly head) that my four days off don’t have great weather and the best weather of the week is on the days I’m working. I spend the entire winter waiting for summer, then work on many of the best days. It has been a cool spring, lasting into June and I fear that it will be one of those summers that just never gets started and is over before it begins.

On a positive note, I got a lot done today. First of all, I had coffee with Su, having not seen her for more than three weeks. She is battling severe depression and I wish there was something I could to help. I ran errands, did some work in my checkbook, paid some bills, sent some birthday and encouragement cards and got some of the plants I took from Bill’s into the ground. I spent some time raking up all of the “tree debris” that continues to fall everywhere! It covers the gardens, the patio, the plants, everything. It’s disgusting to say the least. On top of the mess it makes, it stains the patio pavers. This is the second time I have raked and it won’t be the last. I ended up with a pile that was at least 3′ square. I wanted to take a picture but was so anxious to get it all picked up I totally forgot. I watered the gardens and had 20 minutes left to sit in the sun before getting ready for work.

Maybe I just needed to get that out of my system. Each night I take the time to list at least five things for which I’m thankful. I never have trouble filling the list. I complained today about things that don’t really matter so why do I get so angry and negative? I don’t have an answer but I will continue to work on being positive and it appears that I have a lot of work to do.

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I didn’t get any sewing done today, again, but I was productive. I returned home around noon after running errands in town. I had done some additional flower shopping earlier in the week and managed to get everything planted today. I planted the clematis earlier in the week and placed the new trellis Bill gave me around it. Today I put the marigolds into the window boxes, front garden and planter pot. I added allysum to the front garden and planter pot.

I raked and swept the back porch area and garden. The trees on the hill behind the condo drop all sorts of annoying debris. Once the gardening was complete I watered everything in, changed my clothes and went for a very nice walk.

When I returned I took photos of the flowers that are blooming in the side garden. The bleeding heart is outstanding this year.

the columbine which is actually a light purple, not blue as in this photo

and the rhododendron

After dinner I started cutting the 1 3/4″ pieces for the blooming 9-patch. The cutting is going to take quite a while and will have to be done in short periods of time as it hurts my back.

Tomorrow Wendy and I are taking a trip to visit baby Ella. Yeah!

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